WOW did I fail at the whole keeping a daily update thing. Yeah so scratch that idea, my new goal is to update this thing as often as I remember my username and password :)
So as I read back on what I previously wrote, I realize that I am not the same person that I was in those first two weeks of September. That person was naive and uneducated. Yes, I had high marks, but I'm talking about being educated about life.
As I look back on my 9 months up here in Ottawa I realize that this is my home- this is where I belong. It is this place that holds the best people I've ever met. Honestly, I gave up the opportunity to see Jake Gyllenhall in all of his half-naked glory to see Mike and Adam tonight and that means a lot !
I have also created bonds with people whether it be because they held my hair while I puked my life away and prayed for the sweet release of death or because they went with me to the hospital and put on a full hazmat-like suit just so they could sit with me and I wouldn't be alone and I do not regret that at all !
The people I have met in rez and school are definitely not the people I would have hung out with in high school and that I believe is due to the fact that in high school I had my niche and never did I want to venture out of my comfort zone. When I was suddenly immersed into this whole new situation where no one even knew my name, I knew that it was time for me to stop being who I was and to be who I should've been all along.
I no longer judge people because of what they look like, what they're habits are like or how they act when drunk. It is because of this that I have become more comfortable with who I am and I am no longer the self-conscious person I used to be. I have a firm belief that if people only view me as I try to see them, then there's no reason to be scared of not being liked. And if a person doesn't like me then I don't let it bother me like I used to. Instead I say fuck em and move on- it's not like they were worth my time anyway.
For those who still read this just know that in no way do I regret moving to Ottawa and I am slowly starting to make my name known to its lovely citizens. I love my life up here and this is the place that I now call home. So windSUCK, this is my farewell because as of this moment I view Windsor as a place where all of my windsor besties and family live, and nothing more. It is not my home, it is a place which I visit for a little while and then leave. It has become unfamiliar and unwelcoming. It has become desolate and unfriendly. Or maybe it has always been those things and it took me moving away for me to realize that. With that in mind, I'm going to try to re-name this blog from something other than peace out windsor, or maybe I'll keep it the same to remind me of the thirteen years that I spent living in that hellhole of a city.
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